stellarmeadow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stellarmeadow) wrote2011-07-17 08:37 pm
stellarmeadow) wrote2011-07-17 08:37 pm
FIC: Hit the Ground Running (5/8)
Title: Hit the Ground Running
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Danny gets Steve out of jail. It goes downhill from there.
Notes: This has been churning in my head since the last second of the season finale aired. Had to finish another story, then battle my way through this one. So many thank yous--this would not have gotten done without the encouragement of Celli (who is an awesome cheerleader), Chelsea Frew (who also cheers well and betas fabulously), Cori Lannam (who listens to my constant bitching and plotting and cheers as well), imaginarycircus (another lovely cheerleader who also betas like a pro) and Zarah5 (who cheers and encourages and picks nits more awesomely than anyone on the planet, and has the best music collection ever, with a song for every emotion).
Spoilers: All of season 1
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Quick note - there's a link in here when they talk about a computer file called "jersey.mp3" that you can click on to go hear the file just the way they hear it in the story. :)
***
Danny climbed groggily out of sleep, vivid images from the dream he'd been having still floating through his head, flashes of Steve in a tux and Grace with ribbons in her hair. And...helicopters?
He blinked a few times, frowning at bright lights from his dream that still flashed behind his eyes when they closed. It was still dark. Why was he awake? And why was he having trouble moving?
The second question was answered when his brain caught up enough to recognize the feel of skin on skin where Steve's forearms rested on top of Danny's. One of Steve's legs was trapped between Danny's, and his arms were locked around Danny's torso. Steve's breath was warm and even against Danny's neck.
He should probably work his way out of Steve's arms and put some distance between them. Or at the very least, be somewhat mortified. But he was too tired for either, and he was too comfortable where he was to bother.
Smiling a little to himself, Danny snuggled back in and drifted off back to sleep.
***
When he woke again, he was alone in the bed. He heard Steve nearby making noises that sounded vaguely obscene and did nothing to dampen Danny's morning erection and everything to encourage it. Managing to blink his eyes open, Danny sat up and looked around to find Steve on the floor on the other side of the room in nothing but his shorts, his ass in the air, legs spread wide, looking back at Danny from between his legs.
"Okay, am I still asleep, or are you actually standing like that?" Danny said, then cleared his throat against the lingering roughness from sleep.
"It's called yoga, Danny," Steve said, pressing himself even further into his bend. "You should try it."
Danny raised his eyebrows. "No thanks--it looks like an invitation to pull something. What do they call that anyway, flexible football player pose?"
"Prasarita Padottanasana," Steve said.
"Parasite what?"
Steve pushed himself to his feet and turned to face Danny. "Never mind," he said, slinging a towel around his shoulders and crossing the room to stand beside the bed.
Danny could smell him, could feel the heat from his exercise radiating off him. He cleared his throat again. "I didn't know you did yoga."
"I don't always," Steve said with a shrug. "It's something I resort to when I'm confined and my exercise options are limited. So the last week...." Steve shrugged again. "Let's just say I'll be glad to give up the sit-ups and stretches for the ocean, and soon. I hope."
"It will be soon," Danny said.
Steve's phone beeped from the night stand, and he moved around the bed to look at the screen. "I have a surprise for you," he said, looking at Danny with the most genuine smile he'd had since they'd fled the safe house. "Where's your phone?"
Danny pulled it off the charger on the night stand of his side of the bed, handing it to Steve with a frown. "What are you doing?"
"You'll see," Steve said, reading numbers off his screen and punching them into Danny's phone. When he was done, he hit talk and handed it back to Danny, whose frown deepened as he put the phone to his ear.
"Daddy!" was the excited shriek that greeted him a second later, and he dared anyone to blame him for the way his eyes watered happily at the very sound.
He knew his grin was probably huge, but Steve's was almost as large. "Hey, Monkey! How are you?"
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"I'm better now that I'm talking to you."
There was a voice in the background before Grace said, "Mommy wants to talk to you, but she let me answer the phone. Hold on."
His smile faded a little as he heard the phone change hands and heard Rachel send Grace out of the room 'for a minute.' "Daniel."
"Rachel."
At the mention of Rachel, Steve nodded and walked away. "What happened?" Rachel asked.
Danny heard the bathroom door close. "I was bringing Steve some supplies and HPD got a tip, and they saw me there, so we had no choice but to run," he said as he heard the shower start.
He didn't need to see Rachel to know what every inch of her looked like that second, just based on the sigh and the tapping of her finger against the phone. "Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I wasn't even sure how we were going to find you when this mailman showed up this morning with a package and said it was for Grace from someone named 'Smooth Dog.'"
Danny barely managed to hold back a laugh--he sensed that wouldn't go over well with Rachel. "It's Steve's nickname from when he was in the SEALs."
"How was I supposed to know that? If there hadn't been a note inside explaining a little more, I'd have been having it checked for a bomb."
"Grace knows the name. And what was he supposed to tell you out loud, Rachel? I'm assuming you guys are being watched."
"Of course. We can't make a move without someone following us. Just one more joy of this past week."
Danny sighed. "At least you're not on the run from the police," he said, letting a touch of his bitterness through.
"Yes, but unlike you, I did nothing to ask for this."
Except have an affair with me, get pregnant, and then try to drag me 5,000 miles away in the middle of this mess. He didn't say that, though--whatever might have been right or wrong in what he and Rachel had done, it hadn't carried a jail sentence. "I didn't exactly do anything to ask for it either," he said quietly.
"And yet here we are."
He wondered where the warm, excited woman from a week ago had gone. He wondered why it didn't bother him more that she had disappeared. "Yes," he said shortly. "Here we are."
"Anyway," she said, sounding stiff and formal, the way she had the day she'd told him she wanted a divorce, "I asked Grace to step out for a moment so I could tell you...I was wrong about the pregnancy."
His stomach sank. "Wrong?"
"I thought I was pregnant. I was so sure. But I've seen a doctor...and I'm not."
"Oh." He closed his eyes momentarily, feeling the loss of a chance at another Grace, tiny fingers and toes and a toothless smile, of 2 a.m. feedings and being exhausted as hell and not even caring because you made something so amazing. "I'm sorry."
"Me, too," she said, her voice a little softer now. "That I'm wrong, and that I told you before I knew for certain."
You told me to get me away from Hawaii, whether you were certain or not. "I understand," he said, not up for an argument. "Don't worry about it."
"It's just...I thought we'd have a chance if we got away from Hawaii, so when I thought I was pregnant...it seemed like a sign. I thought if we could get away from...from all the distractions there, that we could start again. That it would be like it was when Grace was born."
He understood that far too well, and wondered if maybe the biggest problem between himself and Rachel was that they were too much alike. "We can't go back, Rach."
"I know. I've...we have both moved on."
"You married Stan."
"Yes. And you have--" He heard a door open in the background, and then Grace's voice. "Grace wants to talk to you again. I'll speak to you later."
She was gone before he could ask her to finish her sentence. "Daddy?" Grace said a second later, her voice more anxious than before. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay," Danny said, faking a bravado he didn't even remotely feel. "I'm talking to you. How can I not be okay?"
He heard a door close on Grace's end of the line. "It's just...I heard Mommy and Stan talking, and they said you were in trouble."
Danny froze. "You heard Mommy talking to Stan on the phone?"
"No, in Mommy's room last night, before he left."
In Rachel's room? "Stan was there?"
"I'm sorry, Danno, I know I wasn't supposed to be listening, but I just wanted to ask Mommy for some water, and they were kind of loud so I heard through the door."
Stan had been there. In Danny's parents' house. He wondered that his father hadn't tossed him out on his ear, but then his father had always been far more fair and rational than Danny. "It's nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart. Just a misunderstanding. We're getting it cleared up now."
"Okay. Do you think we might be able to go home soon?"
She'd gone from asking when he was coming to New Jersey to asking when they were going 'home' to Hawaii. He resisted the petty urge to ask her just what else she'd heard Stan and Rachel saying. Before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers he'd resolved never to be the kind of parent who pumps his kid for information to use against the ex. "I don't know, baby. I'll talk to your Mom about it, okay?"
"Okay."
"I have to go," Danny said, wishing he could talk longer, but he knew the risks, even on untraceable phones. "I'll call you again soon, okay?"
"Yeah. Love you, Danno."
"Love you more."
He hung up, his eyes stinging as he dropped the phone on the bed beside him before he could throw it across the room. Finding out he was about to be a father again in the middle of everything that was going on...it hadn't seemed real. Nothing about the future he'd thought he was heading for with Rachel had, not really. It was like one of the dreams he'd had early on about getting everything back, about the three of them being a family again...a nice dream, but never meant to be reality.
Maybe he'd just pushed the whole thing out of his mind to deal with the mess that was here and now. Or maybe he hadn't had time to process the idea of having another child. He felt the loss, he couldn't deny that, but he felt like maybe it should be stronger. Like he should care more that he'd thought for a week he would have another kid, and now he won't.
Or that he'd thought he'd have a family again, and he won't. Not with Rachel, and not with his 5-0 family, not if things kept going from bad to worse.
"Fuck my life," he said, picking up the pillow and throwing it at the door.
***
By the time Steve came out of the bathroom, Danny had at least managed to compose himself, even if he hadn't bothered to pick up the three pillows, metal ash tray and plastic cup he'd thrown across the room. Steve was drying his hair, wearing only a pair of cargo pants, but as he dropped the towel to his shoulders, he looked around the room before frowning at Danny. "Feel better?"
"No," Danny said, holding onto his composure with difficulty, "I do not feel better, Steven, but thank you for asking."
"Okay." Steve took the towel back into the bathroom and checked out the window by the front door before picking up everything Danny had thrown and quietly putting it back in its proper place. "You wanna tell me what that was about?" Steve asked at last, as he sat down on the bed beside Danny.
Danny drummed his fingers on his thigh, trying to keep his breathing even while he decided where to start. "Right after O'Reilly was murdered, when you went home--or so I thought, anyway--I went to see Rachel. She told me she was pregnant," he said, staring at his hand, his fingers still tapping away on his thigh. "She was pregnant, it was mine, she wanted to leave Stan and go back to New Jersey. Immediately. That night."
He made his fingers stop, balling his hand into a fist. "And then all hell broke loose, and the governor was dead, and you were in jail, and I missed the flight. Didn't even give it a second thought. Didn't even remember until the plane landed in LA for their connection and Rachel called me."
Steve had been silent, almost too silent, perfectly still, in fact, since Danny had said 'New Jersey.' Danny turned his head just enough to see Steve's face firmly set in 'Hey, That's a Bomb' mode, every feature on his face frozen except his eyes, moving rapidly as they searched Danny's face. He could see Steve's throat working, could tell he was trying to decide what to say. Or possibly how to say it; it was always a tossup.
"You were going to leave me--us, in the middle of all this?"
His voice lacked emotion, unless you knew him well enough to add up the sum of all his physical tells and a certain strained tone, along with the all-important 'me' in that statement. Something about it was ringing bells, but Danny wasn't sure what they meant just yet. "No," he said, "I mean, yes, but only for a day or so. Rachel was pregnant and traveling alone with Grace. I wanted to make sure they got there safely. And it wasn't 'all of this' yet. I was coming back to help see it through, but then things went south, and...leaving never entered my mind after that. I wouldn't have." He twisted on the bed a little to meet Steve's gaze fully. "I couldn't."
Steve still had that look, and Danny needed to know what it meant. "I..." Steve started, eyes searching Danny's face for a minute, and if he concentrated, he could almost--
Danny's phone rang, jarring him out of his thoughts, and Steve looked away, scratching his nose and clearing his throat. Danny grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. Toast. Fuck. He couldn't ignore it. "Did you find something?" he asked as soon as the phone was up to his ear.
"I did, and having heard it, I'm guessing it's exactly what you're looking for. There were a few sections ruined from the deletion, but it seems intact enough for what you need."
Danny let out his breath in a long stream, his shoulders slumping a little. "Thank you. I owe you big time." Steve was looking at him again, so Danny gave him a smile. The one he received in return almost made him forget what he was about to say. "So, um, I can try to find someone to come get it from you, but it may take a day."
"You still got the laptop I gave you?" Toast asked.
Danny grabbed it from the floor beside the bed and opened it up, watching it wake up from sleep mode. "We do."
"Then you don't need to send anyone. Is it on?"
"Yeah."
"Hang on." Danny heard tapping in the background followed by a long pause. "Okay, check the folder called 'drop' on the desktop."
Danny clicked on it, and saw a file called 'jersey.mp3.' "You are a genius, Toast."
"I know," he said as if it were a matter of fact, not a boast. Which, Danny had to admit, it was a matter of fact, so, fair enough. "I'll hold onto the file and the phone for you, if you want."
"Yeah, do that. I'll let you know what to do with it when the time comes. Thank you, man. Seriously."
"No problem."
Danny hung up and put the phone down, looking at Steve. "Should we listen?"
"Yeah."
Danny pressed play. He found it hard to listen to Steve's voice so stressed, just this side of out of control, and only barely restrained. God help Wo Fat if Steve ever got the chance to kill him, because Danny figured the odds were about even on Steve actually doing it, depending on how far Wo Fat had pushed him to get there.
Then again, Danny wasn't sure he wouldn't do it himself.
When Danny heard the taser, followed by a muted thud, it made his body tense. He glanced at Steve, who was staring at the computer as if it was the single most important thing on the planet. The governor's frantic voice came out of the speakers with, "What are we going to do? We have to get rid of him," and then the file ended.
"Fuck!" Steve pounded the bed with his fist. "Wo Fat kept his damn mouth shut. He's not on the recording."
"Hey," Danny said, laying his hand on Steve's forearm, "it's okay. It should be enough to help clear you, and we can start from there, all right? Clearing you is the first priority. We can go after him later."
Steve was breathing deeply, his nostrils flaring, but after a moment he jerked his head in Danny's direction and gave a short nod. Danny squeezed Steve's arm before letting go. "Do you remember what was in the parts that are blank?"
"I asked her about the ten million somewhere," Steve said slowly. "It's still kind of a blur, but I remember asking her if she put the money in and she said yes."
"Just as well that part's missing then," Danny said, wondering if Toast had anything to do with that. He knew if that was the case, no one would ever figure it out. "Okay, I'm going to text Chin to call so we can tell him what we have. We can go from there."
His text to Chin got him a phone call in under thirty seconds. "Got a minute?" Danny answered.
"A few. What's up?"
"We recovered most of the file from Steve's phone. Here, listen." He held the phone to the computer and played the conversation again for Chin, pressing his shoulder to Steve's as they listened, unsure at this point who the contact was supposed to help. When it was finished, Danny put the phone back to his ear. "Any ideas on what we can do with it?"
"I think so," Chin said. "I managed to get pictures that most of the department doesn't know about showing Steve has marks on his neck consistent with a taser. It's solid evidence, too--the guy taking mug shots took a couple of shots because he thought it might be evidence, but he wasn't sure who to go to. He took a chance on me."
Danny couldn't help the smile. "Always a smart move. Toast has the file from the phone. I was out there the other day, so maybe you could visit, pretend to ask him if he's heard from me, and get a copy?"
"I'll go out there right after we hang up."
"Then what?"
"Let me talk to a couple of people. I know you guys want this over with, but if it's not handled carefully...."
"Take your time," Danny said. "We can't afford to screw this up."
"Okay. I'll get back to you as soon as I can, but it may be late tonight or early tomorrow."
"Fine. Whatever you need to do, just be careful."
He heard Chin's laugh. "I'm the only one who ever is."
Danny couldn't argue--Chin was the only one currently not suspended or a fugitive, after all. "Rub it in, why don't you?" Danny joked. "Thanks," he said more soberly, putting weight on the word.
"No thanks needed. But you're welcome. Call you soon."
Danny texted Toast and told him to give a copy of the file to Chin but keep a copy and the phone. That done, he put the phone back on the night stand and the computer back on the floor.
"So," Steve said, "more waiting."
"Afraid so." Danny nudged him with his shoulder, giving him a crooked smile. "But this time it might be over."
"Maybe." Steve took a deep breath, staring out at nothing for a moment before turning back to Danny. "Beer?"
"Definitely beer."
***
to be continued...
Author: stellarmeadow
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC17
Summary: Danny gets Steve out of jail. It goes downhill from there.
Notes: This has been churning in my head since the last second of the season finale aired. Had to finish another story, then battle my way through this one. So many thank yous--this would not have gotten done without the encouragement of Celli (who is an awesome cheerleader), Chelsea Frew (who also cheers well and betas fabulously), Cori Lannam (who listens to my constant bitching and plotting and cheers as well), imaginarycircus (another lovely cheerleader who also betas like a pro) and Zarah5 (who cheers and encourages and picks nits more awesomely than anyone on the planet, and has the best music collection ever, with a song for every emotion).
Spoilers: All of season 1
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Quick note - there's a link in here when they talk about a computer file called "jersey.mp3" that you can click on to go hear the file just the way they hear it in the story. :)
***
Danny climbed groggily out of sleep, vivid images from the dream he'd been having still floating through his head, flashes of Steve in a tux and Grace with ribbons in her hair. And...helicopters?
He blinked a few times, frowning at bright lights from his dream that still flashed behind his eyes when they closed. It was still dark. Why was he awake? And why was he having trouble moving?
The second question was answered when his brain caught up enough to recognize the feel of skin on skin where Steve's forearms rested on top of Danny's. One of Steve's legs was trapped between Danny's, and his arms were locked around Danny's torso. Steve's breath was warm and even against Danny's neck.
He should probably work his way out of Steve's arms and put some distance between them. Or at the very least, be somewhat mortified. But he was too tired for either, and he was too comfortable where he was to bother.
Smiling a little to himself, Danny snuggled back in and drifted off back to sleep.
***
When he woke again, he was alone in the bed. He heard Steve nearby making noises that sounded vaguely obscene and did nothing to dampen Danny's morning erection and everything to encourage it. Managing to blink his eyes open, Danny sat up and looked around to find Steve on the floor on the other side of the room in nothing but his shorts, his ass in the air, legs spread wide, looking back at Danny from between his legs.
"Okay, am I still asleep, or are you actually standing like that?" Danny said, then cleared his throat against the lingering roughness from sleep.
"It's called yoga, Danny," Steve said, pressing himself even further into his bend. "You should try it."
Danny raised his eyebrows. "No thanks--it looks like an invitation to pull something. What do they call that anyway, flexible football player pose?"
"Prasarita Padottanasana," Steve said.
"Parasite what?"
Steve pushed himself to his feet and turned to face Danny. "Never mind," he said, slinging a towel around his shoulders and crossing the room to stand beside the bed.
Danny could smell him, could feel the heat from his exercise radiating off him. He cleared his throat again. "I didn't know you did yoga."
"I don't always," Steve said with a shrug. "It's something I resort to when I'm confined and my exercise options are limited. So the last week...." Steve shrugged again. "Let's just say I'll be glad to give up the sit-ups and stretches for the ocean, and soon. I hope."
"It will be soon," Danny said.
Steve's phone beeped from the night stand, and he moved around the bed to look at the screen. "I have a surprise for you," he said, looking at Danny with the most genuine smile he'd had since they'd fled the safe house. "Where's your phone?"
Danny pulled it off the charger on the night stand of his side of the bed, handing it to Steve with a frown. "What are you doing?"
"You'll see," Steve said, reading numbers off his screen and punching them into Danny's phone. When he was done, he hit talk and handed it back to Danny, whose frown deepened as he put the phone to his ear.
"Daddy!" was the excited shriek that greeted him a second later, and he dared anyone to blame him for the way his eyes watered happily at the very sound.
He knew his grin was probably huge, but Steve's was almost as large. "Hey, Monkey! How are you?"
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"I'm better now that I'm talking to you."
There was a voice in the background before Grace said, "Mommy wants to talk to you, but she let me answer the phone. Hold on."
His smile faded a little as he heard the phone change hands and heard Rachel send Grace out of the room 'for a minute.' "Daniel."
"Rachel."
At the mention of Rachel, Steve nodded and walked away. "What happened?" Rachel asked.
Danny heard the bathroom door close. "I was bringing Steve some supplies and HPD got a tip, and they saw me there, so we had no choice but to run," he said as he heard the shower start.
He didn't need to see Rachel to know what every inch of her looked like that second, just based on the sigh and the tapping of her finger against the phone. "Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I wasn't even sure how we were going to find you when this mailman showed up this morning with a package and said it was for Grace from someone named 'Smooth Dog.'"
Danny barely managed to hold back a laugh--he sensed that wouldn't go over well with Rachel. "It's Steve's nickname from when he was in the SEALs."
"How was I supposed to know that? If there hadn't been a note inside explaining a little more, I'd have been having it checked for a bomb."
"Grace knows the name. And what was he supposed to tell you out loud, Rachel? I'm assuming you guys are being watched."
"Of course. We can't make a move without someone following us. Just one more joy of this past week."
Danny sighed. "At least you're not on the run from the police," he said, letting a touch of his bitterness through.
"Yes, but unlike you, I did nothing to ask for this."
Except have an affair with me, get pregnant, and then try to drag me 5,000 miles away in the middle of this mess. He didn't say that, though--whatever might have been right or wrong in what he and Rachel had done, it hadn't carried a jail sentence. "I didn't exactly do anything to ask for it either," he said quietly.
"And yet here we are."
He wondered where the warm, excited woman from a week ago had gone. He wondered why it didn't bother him more that she had disappeared. "Yes," he said shortly. "Here we are."
"Anyway," she said, sounding stiff and formal, the way she had the day she'd told him she wanted a divorce, "I asked Grace to step out for a moment so I could tell you...I was wrong about the pregnancy."
His stomach sank. "Wrong?"
"I thought I was pregnant. I was so sure. But I've seen a doctor...and I'm not."
"Oh." He closed his eyes momentarily, feeling the loss of a chance at another Grace, tiny fingers and toes and a toothless smile, of 2 a.m. feedings and being exhausted as hell and not even caring because you made something so amazing. "I'm sorry."
"Me, too," she said, her voice a little softer now. "That I'm wrong, and that I told you before I knew for certain."
You told me to get me away from Hawaii, whether you were certain or not. "I understand," he said, not up for an argument. "Don't worry about it."
"It's just...I thought we'd have a chance if we got away from Hawaii, so when I thought I was pregnant...it seemed like a sign. I thought if we could get away from...from all the distractions there, that we could start again. That it would be like it was when Grace was born."
He understood that far too well, and wondered if maybe the biggest problem between himself and Rachel was that they were too much alike. "We can't go back, Rach."
"I know. I've...we have both moved on."
"You married Stan."
"Yes. And you have--" He heard a door open in the background, and then Grace's voice. "Grace wants to talk to you again. I'll speak to you later."
She was gone before he could ask her to finish her sentence. "Daddy?" Grace said a second later, her voice more anxious than before. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay," Danny said, faking a bravado he didn't even remotely feel. "I'm talking to you. How can I not be okay?"
He heard a door close on Grace's end of the line. "It's just...I heard Mommy and Stan talking, and they said you were in trouble."
Danny froze. "You heard Mommy talking to Stan on the phone?"
"No, in Mommy's room last night, before he left."
In Rachel's room? "Stan was there?"
"I'm sorry, Danno, I know I wasn't supposed to be listening, but I just wanted to ask Mommy for some water, and they were kind of loud so I heard through the door."
Stan had been there. In Danny's parents' house. He wondered that his father hadn't tossed him out on his ear, but then his father had always been far more fair and rational than Danny. "It's nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart. Just a misunderstanding. We're getting it cleared up now."
"Okay. Do you think we might be able to go home soon?"
She'd gone from asking when he was coming to New Jersey to asking when they were going 'home' to Hawaii. He resisted the petty urge to ask her just what else she'd heard Stan and Rachel saying. Before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers he'd resolved never to be the kind of parent who pumps his kid for information to use against the ex. "I don't know, baby. I'll talk to your Mom about it, okay?"
"Okay."
"I have to go," Danny said, wishing he could talk longer, but he knew the risks, even on untraceable phones. "I'll call you again soon, okay?"
"Yeah. Love you, Danno."
"Love you more."
He hung up, his eyes stinging as he dropped the phone on the bed beside him before he could throw it across the room. Finding out he was about to be a father again in the middle of everything that was going on...it hadn't seemed real. Nothing about the future he'd thought he was heading for with Rachel had, not really. It was like one of the dreams he'd had early on about getting everything back, about the three of them being a family again...a nice dream, but never meant to be reality.
Maybe he'd just pushed the whole thing out of his mind to deal with the mess that was here and now. Or maybe he hadn't had time to process the idea of having another child. He felt the loss, he couldn't deny that, but he felt like maybe it should be stronger. Like he should care more that he'd thought for a week he would have another kid, and now he won't.
Or that he'd thought he'd have a family again, and he won't. Not with Rachel, and not with his 5-0 family, not if things kept going from bad to worse.
"Fuck my life," he said, picking up the pillow and throwing it at the door.
***
By the time Steve came out of the bathroom, Danny had at least managed to compose himself, even if he hadn't bothered to pick up the three pillows, metal ash tray and plastic cup he'd thrown across the room. Steve was drying his hair, wearing only a pair of cargo pants, but as he dropped the towel to his shoulders, he looked around the room before frowning at Danny. "Feel better?"
"No," Danny said, holding onto his composure with difficulty, "I do not feel better, Steven, but thank you for asking."
"Okay." Steve took the towel back into the bathroom and checked out the window by the front door before picking up everything Danny had thrown and quietly putting it back in its proper place. "You wanna tell me what that was about?" Steve asked at last, as he sat down on the bed beside Danny.
Danny drummed his fingers on his thigh, trying to keep his breathing even while he decided where to start. "Right after O'Reilly was murdered, when you went home--or so I thought, anyway--I went to see Rachel. She told me she was pregnant," he said, staring at his hand, his fingers still tapping away on his thigh. "She was pregnant, it was mine, she wanted to leave Stan and go back to New Jersey. Immediately. That night."
He made his fingers stop, balling his hand into a fist. "And then all hell broke loose, and the governor was dead, and you were in jail, and I missed the flight. Didn't even give it a second thought. Didn't even remember until the plane landed in LA for their connection and Rachel called me."
Steve had been silent, almost too silent, perfectly still, in fact, since Danny had said 'New Jersey.' Danny turned his head just enough to see Steve's face firmly set in 'Hey, That's a Bomb' mode, every feature on his face frozen except his eyes, moving rapidly as they searched Danny's face. He could see Steve's throat working, could tell he was trying to decide what to say. Or possibly how to say it; it was always a tossup.
"You were going to leave me--us, in the middle of all this?"
His voice lacked emotion, unless you knew him well enough to add up the sum of all his physical tells and a certain strained tone, along with the all-important 'me' in that statement. Something about it was ringing bells, but Danny wasn't sure what they meant just yet. "No," he said, "I mean, yes, but only for a day or so. Rachel was pregnant and traveling alone with Grace. I wanted to make sure they got there safely. And it wasn't 'all of this' yet. I was coming back to help see it through, but then things went south, and...leaving never entered my mind after that. I wouldn't have." He twisted on the bed a little to meet Steve's gaze fully. "I couldn't."
Steve still had that look, and Danny needed to know what it meant. "I..." Steve started, eyes searching Danny's face for a minute, and if he concentrated, he could almost--
Danny's phone rang, jarring him out of his thoughts, and Steve looked away, scratching his nose and clearing his throat. Danny grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. Toast. Fuck. He couldn't ignore it. "Did you find something?" he asked as soon as the phone was up to his ear.
"I did, and having heard it, I'm guessing it's exactly what you're looking for. There were a few sections ruined from the deletion, but it seems intact enough for what you need."
Danny let out his breath in a long stream, his shoulders slumping a little. "Thank you. I owe you big time." Steve was looking at him again, so Danny gave him a smile. The one he received in return almost made him forget what he was about to say. "So, um, I can try to find someone to come get it from you, but it may take a day."
"You still got the laptop I gave you?" Toast asked.
Danny grabbed it from the floor beside the bed and opened it up, watching it wake up from sleep mode. "We do."
"Then you don't need to send anyone. Is it on?"
"Yeah."
"Hang on." Danny heard tapping in the background followed by a long pause. "Okay, check the folder called 'drop' on the desktop."
Danny clicked on it, and saw a file called 'jersey.mp3.' "You are a genius, Toast."
"I know," he said as if it were a matter of fact, not a boast. Which, Danny had to admit, it was a matter of fact, so, fair enough. "I'll hold onto the file and the phone for you, if you want."
"Yeah, do that. I'll let you know what to do with it when the time comes. Thank you, man. Seriously."
"No problem."
Danny hung up and put the phone down, looking at Steve. "Should we listen?"
"Yeah."
Danny pressed play. He found it hard to listen to Steve's voice so stressed, just this side of out of control, and only barely restrained. God help Wo Fat if Steve ever got the chance to kill him, because Danny figured the odds were about even on Steve actually doing it, depending on how far Wo Fat had pushed him to get there.
Then again, Danny wasn't sure he wouldn't do it himself.
When Danny heard the taser, followed by a muted thud, it made his body tense. He glanced at Steve, who was staring at the computer as if it was the single most important thing on the planet. The governor's frantic voice came out of the speakers with, "What are we going to do? We have to get rid of him," and then the file ended.
"Fuck!" Steve pounded the bed with his fist. "Wo Fat kept his damn mouth shut. He's not on the recording."
"Hey," Danny said, laying his hand on Steve's forearm, "it's okay. It should be enough to help clear you, and we can start from there, all right? Clearing you is the first priority. We can go after him later."
Steve was breathing deeply, his nostrils flaring, but after a moment he jerked his head in Danny's direction and gave a short nod. Danny squeezed Steve's arm before letting go. "Do you remember what was in the parts that are blank?"
"I asked her about the ten million somewhere," Steve said slowly. "It's still kind of a blur, but I remember asking her if she put the money in and she said yes."
"Just as well that part's missing then," Danny said, wondering if Toast had anything to do with that. He knew if that was the case, no one would ever figure it out. "Okay, I'm going to text Chin to call so we can tell him what we have. We can go from there."
His text to Chin got him a phone call in under thirty seconds. "Got a minute?" Danny answered.
"A few. What's up?"
"We recovered most of the file from Steve's phone. Here, listen." He held the phone to the computer and played the conversation again for Chin, pressing his shoulder to Steve's as they listened, unsure at this point who the contact was supposed to help. When it was finished, Danny put the phone back to his ear. "Any ideas on what we can do with it?"
"I think so," Chin said. "I managed to get pictures that most of the department doesn't know about showing Steve has marks on his neck consistent with a taser. It's solid evidence, too--the guy taking mug shots took a couple of shots because he thought it might be evidence, but he wasn't sure who to go to. He took a chance on me."
Danny couldn't help the smile. "Always a smart move. Toast has the file from the phone. I was out there the other day, so maybe you could visit, pretend to ask him if he's heard from me, and get a copy?"
"I'll go out there right after we hang up."
"Then what?"
"Let me talk to a couple of people. I know you guys want this over with, but if it's not handled carefully...."
"Take your time," Danny said. "We can't afford to screw this up."
"Okay. I'll get back to you as soon as I can, but it may be late tonight or early tomorrow."
"Fine. Whatever you need to do, just be careful."
He heard Chin's laugh. "I'm the only one who ever is."
Danny couldn't argue--Chin was the only one currently not suspended or a fugitive, after all. "Rub it in, why don't you?" Danny joked. "Thanks," he said more soberly, putting weight on the word.
"No thanks needed. But you're welcome. Call you soon."
Danny texted Toast and told him to give a copy of the file to Chin but keep a copy and the phone. That done, he put the phone back on the night stand and the computer back on the floor.
"So," Steve said, "more waiting."
"Afraid so." Danny nudged him with his shoulder, giving him a crooked smile. "But this time it might be over."
"Maybe." Steve took a deep breath, staring out at nothing for a moment before turning back to Danny. "Beer?"
"Definitely beer."
***
to be continued...